i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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