I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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