Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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