did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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