FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
