I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When are your genitals available?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
