One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize