Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
