well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize