he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
