then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
that is very illegal...i love you.
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