considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
