there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
