me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
