I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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