Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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