Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize