its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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