i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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