I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I deserve this hangover.
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