i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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