did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
