They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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