tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
