week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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