I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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