love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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