I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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