Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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