What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
