it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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