problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
