Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
