I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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