plz talk dirty to me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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