All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
false alarm, still single
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
