One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
