My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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