Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I supernannyed him into submission
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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