it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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