Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
