Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
