Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I came so hard my ears popped.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
