she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
