as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dear god my vagina.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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