he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
