yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I need a burrito and a hug.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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