I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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