he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
