how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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