Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
