Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
