"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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