we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
