Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
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Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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