I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
