i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
