I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
