So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
